Disclaimer: All characters and places are the creation and copyrighted by SquareEnix Inc.,formerly known as Square Soft Inc. Final Fantasy VIII and its respected characters does not belong to me, and by stating this disclaimer I refuse to be hold any liability in terms of violating copyrights, unless you want to sue an extremely poor, on financial-aid college student. ^^;;; Don’t bother. I have to save months to buy one of your games.
Warning: This fanfiction is yaoi, though the content is only PG-13. If you do not know what yaoi is, in short term, is male-male relationships. If you cannot accept such genre, please do not read. Thank you! ^_^
Feedback: Please review or email me your thoughts!!! What can I say? I’m a review hog. >w<
~~ Hieru Youko
I used to hate his silent treatment to everyone, especially me.
Quistis and I were forced to wait in the living room when Matron received a phone call about new orphans coming to join our little family. I still remember that I had my wooden sword in one hand and paper shield that Matron made for me after I pestered her for a week in another and Quistis had her precious Barbie doll clutched tightly in her hands when they came to us.
He and Sis.
Ellone was polite and stood tall as the soldier dropped them off, one of her hands tucked behind her back and another gripped tightly at a small duffle bag of clothes and valuables that turned out to be a half-torched picture, and a small lion emblem that Sis later explained was his mother’s family crest. She wore a small, baby blue dress with white lace, all and all adorable, but her face had lost the innocence a girl her age should have. She looked so much more mature than any of us, and that’s why she was Sis, even though she was barely a year older than me. Even though they came later, Quisty and I found her to be our big sister almost that instant.
When the Galbaldian soldier left, Matron smiled warmly at the duo while the two of us watched curiously, her eyes warm and filled with sympathy. There was a small movement behind Sis, and Matron’s eyes widened slightly before they filled with the motherly love that Quisty and I both loved. She knelt down, and spoke softly to someone behind Sis, almost cooing in the voice that she used whenever either of us got sick. It took such a long time that I almost lost my patience, my foot tapping in annoyance as I glared at the newcomers until Matron was finally able to coax the hidden figure from behind the older girl.
And in that instant, I was in love.
From then on, I hovered near the beautiful brunette whenever I was allowed. Hell, I was following him like a puppy, only that I was a big puppy, if you must visualize. I was always a couple, if not several, inches taller than he was, which I found useful whenever intimidating people or protecting him, even when he hated it. But, he always had that annoying skill to ignore me just as easily as he breathes. For a kid, I guess I was pretty amazing to have lasted a month before all of my patience was wore thin. When I waved my toy sword widely next to him and accidentally hit him on the back of his head and destroyed the sand castle he had been working on all that afternoon, that beautiful, emotionless face frowned in anger, and I was addicted to that, and any expression, ever shown on his procelain face.
So I repeated my act the next day, and the day after, until he started to attack me back nearly a week later. The abuse went on for the next ten years, and it was amazing that we had, so far, only exchanged scars instead of tearing some important body parts off of each other.
No, that does NOT pertain to anything on the lower half of the body, y’all perverts.
Once, after we were reunited in Garden, Quisty had asked me why did I never give up on him. She knew that beneath the cocky, arrogant bully, I was merely a scared child desperate for love from the only person that could give it to me. She knew that behind the act, I was just screaming, “I love you,” and “please love me back,” to the silent brunette that was so dense you practically had to scream in his face to proclaim your love, and he probably would tilt his head to the side and ask ‘are you alright?’ Yeah, for someone who gets straight A’s in class, A+ in strategical planning, and never even needed to go the library to study, he was a fucking idiot when it came to emotions.
I remember I shrugged and gave some bullshit to Quisty, but she knew better…. and promptly slapped me on the back of the head for not telling her the truth. She never asked again, however, but tried her best to help me. When Squall was being indecisive of choosing his weapon, it was Quisty to suggest to him about taking up the gunblade, since that increased the chance of me pairing up with him. Who knew that the only people that ever toughed the class out were me and him. All the other gunbladers quit after a couple of months, claiming it was too hard to wield and control. I felt fine with it, and I know Squall never gave up because he hated to admit he couldn’t do what I could… and it went on from there. At the end, I couldn’t see him with any other type of weapons… it just wouldn’t feel right.
Though the thought of him taking on a whip… DAMN. Kinky~
Okay, stop that train of thought. I’m having a weird-ass vision of him in tight leather, cracking a whip and demanding me to call him master.
But he already fulfilled half of the requirement…. Leather….
Mind out of the gutter now, dammit.
Anyway, back to the story at hand… Even when we reached our teens, and I certainly felt adolescence attacking me mercilessly, he looked as if he never felt a thing. Hell, I was having wet dreams almost daily, all involving him in very beautiful and sometimes odd positions (and only after I viewed a wide range of pornography did I get the positionings right. Who says pornography and the internet are a bad thing?) Certainly masturbation came naturally, but it took me a while to get used to seeing him after having a dream of him or using him as the mental image when I conduct my ‘business.’ Yet, he looked like he had either grown past puberty already, or he hadn’t hit it yet.
Around this time I met Fujin and Raijin, who transferred over from Galbaldia Garden. I was given the job of giving them a tour around the school, and we became friends soon after. It took Fujin less than a week to figure out that I was in love with him, and she got really mad at him for not reciprocating the feelings when she learned that we came from the orphanage together and it had been at least five years since I first laid my eyes on him. As years went on, the frustration in me mixed with the habit of bullying him to get a reaction eventually turned hazardous until we marked each other permanently.
Then, the fucking Hyne Second Sorceress War began.
And if you want to read THAT story, go to any bookstore and you will find a shelf or two devoted to the topic. The three shelves next to it would be about the First Sorceress War and Laguna Loire.
I’m still in shock and denial that Loire is his dad. I mean, sure, there is some physical resemblance, but he really took after his mom more than that idiot. Besides, how can somebody as dense and stoic as he have a father as…. idiotic, yet strangely perceptive?
Yes, a shock to the world. Laguna Loire was extremely perceptive in the worst sense. I found that out personally.
After the war, I hid in the only neutral place where Ultimecia never touched via my hands, the Fishermen Horizon, and tried to stay as low key as possible. I packed Hyperion and my trench coat underneath my bed and used the money that I had while in control of the Galbaldian army to rent a small hut in town. I stopped using gel to smooth my hair and made it almost as messy as his, and grew my bangs to hide the scar. But it took him only three months to find me, and drag me back kicking and screaming to Balamb Garden.
Hell, I made such a scene that he blushed in embarrassment. It wasn’t until he glared at me with the promise to knock me out with Lion Heart, then drag my unconscious body across town that I shut up. I think the old woman that lived next to me who always thought of me as her grandson (a.k.a., the free handyman as long as she fed me cookies and milk) thought it was my wife come to drag me home. She had bad eyesight, and hell, he does look too feminine for his own good.
Not that I mind, of course.
After we got back to Balamb, he took me to Esthar, again, with me kicking and screaming. Fuck, I am NOT about to go to the country that has a death warrant out for me, and as rich as that reward sounds, he really didn’t need that much money, did he? That commander job of his tripled his salary from an A rank SeeD, so the reward couldn’t be THAT appealing… could it? But, with my Hyperion stolen from me (how he managed that, I have no idea) and Chickie and Quisty holding and forcing me, I couldn’t help but trail behind his fine ass as we walked into the Presidential Palace.
And I am still proud of myself for not crying out in disbelief or doing anything dramatic when he called Laguna ‘Dad,’no matter how strained and awkward his voice was. Chickie was snickering and Quisty hid her face behind my back so she could chuckle as quietly as possible. I wasn’t sure if they were laughing at me or him. Then, Laguna hugged him so tight I think his eyes rolled up to his skull. They talked quietly afterwards, leaving the three of us in the dark as to what they said. He kept looking at me while Laguna frowned, and I merely looked back at the president. By that time, I was fucking tired from all the fit I threw and the war. The hold on my arms became a semi-hug, and I leaned into the touch for support. Hyne knew I needed it.
Then he nodded, and started to leave. I was about to strangle him when he looked at me, and suddenly, his eyes filled with emotions that I’ve never seen before, and I hadn’t done anything. The stormy grey eyes spoke of reassurance, and told me to calm down and trust him. I did almost immediately. When he brushed past me, I felt him grip my hand tightly before walking out the door, so quickly that I had thought it was only a hallucination.
“Sit,” said the president, gesturing at one of the cushy sofas. I eyed it warily before taking a seat, and Laguna sat down with his advisors next to him. He said nothing for a long while, just studying me as I study him, before he grinned suddenly and asked, “How long?”
“Uh…. huh?” I asked brilliantly.
“How long have you been in love with him?” he asked, the grin had took on an evil approach now.
My eyes widened as I merely gaped at him, before catching myself and cleared my throat, straightening my composure. “I don’t know what you’re talking about… sir.”
Laguna waved and that dark-skinned advisor, Kiros, chuckled while the large-set Ward laughed mutely. “Don’t think you can fool us, kid. I doubt any of the kiddos can make you as relaxed and confident as you are now, had it not been for my son’s influence on you.”
“And what influence would that be?” I challenged, still trying to cover up the truth.
“His hand lingered on yours enough for us to see. We were soldiers, thank you.”
“You relaxed completely when he did that,” Kiros added, and I buried my face in my hands. Was I that transparent?
“….. Fourteen years, give or take a few,” I said eventually, earning myself another snicker and a whistle.
And it was just like that, I was forgiven. Couple days later, a press conference was held where Esthar officially withdrew the death warrant, and gave an extensive explanation of how Ultimecia used me to command the army just as she did with Edea. Amazingly, people accepted it with grace. There was still distrust and some hostility, but it lessened considerably. I felt a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders.
He dragged me back to Balamb Garden once more, and re-enrolled me and forced me to take the SeeD test once more. The news that Balamb Garden accepted the ex-Sorceress Knight back, spread quickly, and he fought against all the nasty rumors and criticisms. I was, for the first time in my life, protected. He never let me know about the harsh comments made by nosy press, never once let a camera or reporter get near me, and with his—our—friends’ help, he managed to keep me completely clueless of what went on in the world as I prepared for my exam. This time, I passed with flying colors, both written and field exam. Xu slapped me on the back and grinned when I came off the transit and told me, “I pray to Hyne I do not have to take you on another test anymore, Almasy.”
And she didn’t have to. He and Cid came and congratulated me personally before the announcement. Cid said that he was expecting the entire faculty to have disagreements about passing me, but they ended up praising and endorsing me. He just stood next to Cid, his eyes glittering in happiness, and when the man we all considered to be father left us, he reached out and took my hand, and squeezed it tightly before he turned to leave. Duty and all.
He didn’t have to say a word, and I was already crying. Quisty came around and wrapped her arms around me as I stood in the shadows, crying with happiness and relief.
So what if I went to get my diploma with red, puffy eyes. I was happy, Hynedammit! Shut the fuck up.
My graduation party was at least ten times louder and fifty times more exciting than his. I don’t know how she did it, but somehow, Selphie conned either Cid or him to let her throw the graduation party, and it became like a rave. It was so loud that after a couple of dances, I retreated to the darker corner with a cup of punch. Chickie was, once again, stuffing his face with hot dogs, and the cowboy was helping Selphie DJ. Quisty was trying to talk to Cid and Matron off in a quieter corner.
Then, he stood next to me, quietly with a cup of punch himself. The Commander uniform followed the same design as the SeeD uniform, except with some golden lace, gold plated shoulder plaque, and a cape from it. He looked more like a knight than I ever was. Hynedamned beautiful.
We just stood like that, against the wall, for about three songs. Then the light dimmed, and the song changed to a soft, slow love song from older times. In the dance pool, Irvine and Selphie, Zell and Quisty, and Cid and Matron were enjoying themselves immensely. I looked down, and he was studying them with a peaceful smile. He probably noticed that I was staring, and looked up, his lips tugged slightly and the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen was displayed on his face.
I couldn’t help but lean down, and seal my lips against his. Giving my apologies, proclaiming my love, and begging for a chance all at the same time.
When he wrapped an arm around my neck, his other hand with the damn cup touching my shoulder, and his lips opening shyly as if he didn’t know what to do, I was in Heaven. The kiss was light, teasing, exploring, and pleading.
After that, he didn’t even bother to assign me a room. I packed up within the few hours before midnight after the two of us snuck out of the party, and moved into his room.
Strange thing is, nobody cared. When Chickie and Quisty wanted to look for me and couldn’t find me in my room, they came directly to his room, and had on the same evil grin as Laguna when I opened the door. Chickie punched me on the arm lightly and Quistis hugged me tightly, whispering a “congratulations” that I know was more than about me getting SeeDship, before they left us.
And, honest to Hyne, we did not fuck like rabbits in heat for three days and nights straight since then, okay?
What, don’t believe me? Well, fuck you.
We just enjoyed each other’s company, getting used to living together, and cuddled on the bed at night time for the first month. Everybody kept studying him to see if he would limp, and when he didn’t, they looked at me.
Whatever gave them the fucking idea that I would bottom up!? Okay, fine, I might, but hell, I prefer the dominant role, thank you.
When neither of us showed up at work late or walking funny, Irvine gave me a box of Viagra while Chickie flat-out asked me if I was impotent. Of course, they both received a good beating from me. Just because I made SeeD and am apologetic towards them for fighting them during the Second Sorceress War does NOT guarantee that I won’t kick their asses when they annoy me, and that was certainly out of line. I didn’t feel he was ready for anything more than kisses and cuddles since he was new to this relationship thing, and I was still somewhat in disbelief that such luck would come to me.
It wasn’t until one day when Garden had an electrical blackout that I finally got him in bed and claimed his body. Hey, a SeeD Commander doesn’t need to worry about running a school. That was the Headmaster’s job, and I made sure he understood that. I think our surrogate father thought the same way too.
Hm… Wonder if Cid got in the betting pool? Did he bet that I was impotent or just patient? If he bet I was impotent I really need to have a word with him. Me and Hyperion.
And contrary to popular belief, we didn’t screw like rabbits. I wouldn’t even call it a fuck, because it wasn’t. We made love. It was slow, with me guiding him and him exploring the concept of sex (and I concluded that he never reached puberty…. Damn,) and downright passionate. We made love once that day, and after some rest, he got bold and then we fucked. The second time was with mischief, with teasing, and tons of mimicking the porno magazines and video I managed to stash away.
When we both called in sick when the lights were fixed, I received very generous money from the betting pool. Under a pseudonym, of course. Nobody complained, since it was their own fault for using us for betting topic, plus they really didn’t want to meet Hyperion. If anybody dared complain, I’m sure Hyperion would bring along Lion Heart for some fun.
Slowly, the focus on our relationship drifted as people in the Garden got used to seeing us together. Even though he was shy, he was never one to be bothered by people’s looks and talk. We displayed our love quite openly, him never shying away from my kisses and never hesitant to let me pull him into my arms. He would blush, sure, but a smile of contentment would be there and that was all I cared for. We still don’t talk much, our room mostly filled with my chatterings or the sound of television.
People find our relationship weird. Not because we’re gay, but the fact that whenever we are together, I will be the one talking while he merely looks at me. His expression never changes, except he is more loose and opened compared to before, though one must either know him well or have a keen eye to see the emotions he lets on. Which is why people think our relationship is… different. I will be the one talking and suddenly I will be talking to myself, or so they think.
Not understanding what I mean? Let me give you an example.
We normally eat lunch in the cafetaria. I take care of breakfast and dinner, but for lunch, I would have to dismiss my class early to cook and he doesn’t want to burden me. So after my morning class I get two orders and wait in our usual seat, the small table next to the large window that overlooks the Balamb shores. He finishes whatever it is he needs to do and joins me, and if the food gets cold I just ask the cafetaria lady to reheat it. So, last week was the same, and when he got here he seemed exhausted.
“Tired?” he nodded, poking at the country-fried chicken with his fork. I smiled, noticing how he was too tired to cut it into smaller pieces, so I reached over and cut it for him. He smiled slightly, before starting to munch on the chicken.
I studied him for a while, before resuming my own lunch. “So, what was it that Cid wanted you to do this time?”
He sighed softly, and looked up at me. Others might not see it, but I could clearly see the pout he was giving me. “Oh, that again….” I snickered, and reached over to put my hand on his face for comfort. He nuzzled my palm slightly before munching on the food again.
“You know, you could’ve just told him to fuck off,” I suggested, and he tossed me a half-hearted death glare. “And he still wouldn’t listen? Hm….”
Suddenly, he looked up to me from his food, his eyes glittering in mischief as a smile, almost identical in shape to the one Laguna gave me a year ago, except smaller in size, appeared on his face. I gulped, “No way. No fucking way.”
His smile only grew slightly, and I glared at him. “Squall! Don’t you fucking dare!!!”
He arched his eyebrow, a ‘what are you gonna do about it?’ look clearly in his eyes. I stared him down with the best intimidating glare I could, and he only looked back with those determined eyes. The staring contest held for at least a good three minutes before I sighed and bowed my head in defeat. “I hate you.”
He chuckled softly, and patted my hand before his boot trailed up my inner thigh slightly, suggestively. I glared at him, “It’s gonna take you more than that to shut me up, you know.” He replied with a knowing smile.
We ate our lunch with me fuming and him smiling at me, reassuring me by keeping our hands together throughout our meal. The only time he spoke was when Selphie came with another proposal of Garden Festival, with which he used the minimum amount of words to tell her that there wasn’t enough budget for another grand party that she wanted.
Aside from me, he had to talk to let people know what he wanted to express. He didn’t like talking at all, which was why he was giving everyone the silent treatment. He was never good at casual words, and he was, surprise surprise, shy beyond belief. He told me once that he would be scared, sometimes, when he had to talk to people he didn’t know well. Being with me was comfortable because I knew him well enough to know what he wanted to express without him saying another word. I took pride in that.
So now, I’m wearing the uniform that is identical to the one he had as Commander, while he wears one that is more business attire with the SeeD design as the Headmaster. We stand together as Cid gives his farewell speech in the assembly, telling the brats and SeeDs alike how proud he is of them, and asks them to respect and obey us as they would him.
He takes my hand as our hands are hidden behind Cid. I look down, and see his eyes cast down, a slight tilt of head, and an almost invisible tug of lips. He is happy and content, no matter how much he bitched (silently) about this job. He is happy to help his surrogate father in continuing the man’s ideals, to be recognized, and to care for this place that we call home. Our fingers interwine as he leans closer to me, though to the public eye, I doubt many could see what he is doing.
He is still giving me the silent treatment, even now, and I love every minute of it. He and I both know how special he is to me, and I am to him.
© Hieru Youko
June 17, 2004
Author’s Mewling: The other day I was complaining to Nicky-neechan about how boring church was and that the Bishop just keep rambling off and I can’t fall asleep (since I’m the pianist and all…,) and she suggested to bring a notebook to church to write. So the next week I did, and being ME, I can’t write anything but yaoi. >V< Granted, it’s shounen-ai, but whatever. This fic was started in church, and finished when I get home. I felt that I started with a certain feeling, but lost it at the end. I still hope this fic comes out ok. ^^;;